The Man of My Life

This is my husband, my love, the man that I get to spent the rest of my life with. He is the one that I get to fall asleep with every night (really it isn’t every night… but a girl can dream!), he’s the one that i get to do life with, he’s the one that I get to make babies with, he’s the one who puts up with me….  you get the picture. But I have to say that he’s also the one I fight with the most. He’s the one that I get angry at, he’s the one I take my anger out on, he’s the one who gets to see me emotional and he’s the one that lives through it.

There have been a lot of things that we have had to go through over our almost 5 years of being together. It takes a toll on each other. You want to blame someone or be mad at someone and sometimes that someone is your spouse.

I’m a girl (of course) and for me EVERYTHING is emotional (I don’t know why… that’s just the way God made us.) And Chris he is very not emotional… he can be but mostly about his kids… so when we disagree/agrue whatever you want to call it… its very two ways. Its me being very emotional about it and him being very frank. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It just made me think that sometimes the people we love the most are sometimes the ones we can hurt the most too.

I try my hardest to be the best wife/mother/friend but sometimes my actions, attitudes or words don’t always convey that. At church this past week Scott asked the wives “what if instead of sending subtle messages that they aren’t good enough or they don’t measure up enough to find one simple way to show honor and love?” They thing about that question is Chris is always saying, “I’m sorry I am horrible husband” because of my attitude or words or something. And I always thought that was just him. I thought that was Chris… I thought maybe he was insecure. But after I heard Scott say that I wanted to run home and ask Chris to forgive me.

I want to be for my husband. I want to support him in everything he wants to do. I want to encourage him when he needs encouragement. I want to show him love ALL the time.

So often I forget that he is human. Some days are so miserable that when he gets home I just want to get away (most of the time I just sleep). I don’t think about him. I don’t wonder if he’s been up all night because of calls. I don’t wonder if he is tired. I just think, “oh he’s home he can take care of the kids.”

I’m not saying that any of this will change today or tomorrow. But I think I am more aware than I was last week. And I also know that I am going to try my hardest to make him more aware that I am all those things for him.

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